Welcome to Hogwarts
by hayya3
Summary: Welcome to Hogwarts, home of Albus Potter, Rose Weasley and Scorpius Malfoy. A place where anything can happen and things are NEVER what you expect. Continues where Book 7 left off. DH SPOILERS
1. Chapter 1: The Beginning

**Welcome to Hogwarts**

Co-written by Hayya3 and P.E.E.V.S.Y.

Please proceed with caution:

We are not responsible for injuries caused by falling down plot holes.

* * *

Chapter 1: The Beginning

Albus Severus Potter looked at his cousin, Rose Charity Catherine Molly Weasley helplessly. The train had just pulled away from the station.

"Now what?" asked Rose.

"Um," said Albus, "We can go sit down…"

They walked down the corridor, looking in the compartments. It wasn't until the very last one that they saw a place to sit, and even that one held two people: a girl (who, Albus saw, was trying to read a book that looked suspiciously like 'Hogwarts, a History') and a blond boy.

"Hi, can we sit here?" asked Rose. The boy looked us and gave them a suspicious look. "Sure," he said slowly, "She," he jerked his head toward the girl, "won't mind. Hasn't said anything since I've seen her,"

Rose and Albus dragged their trunks in and sat down.

"I'm Rose Weasley, and this is Albus Potter," Rose smiled. Albus gave his cousin an amused stare. Rose did this all the time. The boy, though, noticeably stiffened before he said, "Scorpius Malfoy."

Albus glanced toward the girl reading. "And who are you?" he asked. The girl jerked her head upward and looked at Albus in shock as if she hadn't ever been asked a question before. Next she turned scarlet and muttered, "Kilee Finnigan." Then she determinedly went back to her book, still red.

"What book is that?" asked Rose.

Kilee turned an ever brighter red and mumbled, "Hogwarts, a History: Revised."

"Oh!" exclaimed Rose, "I heard about that. My mum helped write a part of it!"

Albus groaned. "Ugh, SPEW. Don't get her started," he advised Kilee and Scorpius, "She'll go on for days, both Rose and Aunt 'Mione."

"I think house elves are icky," said Kilee, "They deserve to be enslaved."

Rose puffed up in anger. Scorpius gave Kilee an odd look. Kilee then gave an easy grin and said, "Actually, I got nothing against house elves, but _please_, STOP TALKING TO ME! I'm sure you're all lovely people, but I just want to read right now. If I don't, I think I'll puke."

On that note, the compartment fell into an awkward silence. Albus broke it a few minutes later by saying "Erm…which house do you hope to be in?"

"Gryffindor," Rose replied without thinking. Scorpius just scowled. Albus belatedly remembered that he was a Malfoy and that might not have been the best question to ask.

"What about you, Kilee?" Rose asked, refusing to give up on getting her to talk. Kilee turned slightly green and Scorpius immediately jumped in to save her.

"I want to be in Hufflepuff!" Scorpius announced.

"Really?" Rose asked, instantly distracted.

"Yeah, why not?" Scorpius replied, rolling his eyes. Albus gaped and Scorpius continued, "It'd be worth it just to see what my dad would do."

"I wanna be in Slytherin," said Kilee suddenly. As soon as she did, she immediately turned bright red again and hid her face in her book.

"Why?!?" asked Albus.

"Just to see what my mom and dad would do," Kilee mumbled, turning green again as she kept reading.

The rest of the train ride was uneventful except for when Kilee ran to the bathroom to throw up after Rose tried to ask where she grew up. After that, Scorpius glared at Rose and she stopped bothering her. Albus just watched all this with a slightly amused look on his face, even though he did feel bad for Kilee.

When they reached Hogwarts, Kilee, Rose, Scorpius, and Albus all shared a boat; Scorpius glared at Rose every time she attempted to talk to the now steadily growing greener Kilee.

Just as the boats were turning a corner, Rose reached over and pushed Scorpius into the water. Kilee gave Rise a horrified look and tried to pull Scorpius back into the boat. She just fell in too.

Albus sighed loudly "Now look what you did,"

He, however, did nothing to help them. The boats glided by and Rose, very curious as to what happened, saw that somebody had taken pity on Kilee (who apparently couldn't swim) and helped her into their boat.

Scorpius had swum toward the boat in front and was pulling himself out of the water. The boat, however, contained four girls who were terrified of being eaten by the giant squid. Thinking they were under attack, they screamed and jumped into the boat next to them. They missed, but Scorpius had made it into the boat. Rose, still watching the scene, cackled evilly as Scorpius attempted to help the girls back into the boat. He had succeeded, but Albus noticed that he didn't look very happy being squished between the four now giggling girls.

"That was mean, Rose," said Albus, watching Scorpius shivering in the boat.

"Who cares?" said Rose, "That was nothing compared to what I'm planning to do once we're at school."

Albus gave Rose a piercing stare he'd learned from his mother.

Rose shifted awkwardly. "What?" she asked uncomfortably.

"Rose, don't hurt Scorpius or Kilee…or me," said Albus, "You've put us all through enough."

Rose sighed. "Fine," she mumbled. The boats came to a stop and they all climbed out.

* * *

A/N from Hayya3: review please!! 


	2. Chapter 2: The Sorting

**Welcome to Hogwarts**

Co-written by Hayya3 and P.E.E.V.S.Y.

Disclaimer: Is this really necessary?

Chapter 2: The Sorting

They were led to the Great Hall and moments later, it was time for the sorting. One by one, their classmates were sorted. Then, it was Kilee's turn. Albus watched with pity as the now very green, sick looking Kilee walked up to the hat. She put it on and one moment later, the hat opened its mouth and called out, "Ravenclaw!"

Next Scorpius Malfoy was called up, and he was placed in…"Gryffindor!"

More and more people were sorted, and soon in was Albus's turn. He walked up and put on the hat. The moment he did, he heard a little voice in his head. "Hmm… another Potter, eh? You're brother was almost exactly like his grandfather, but you… hmm."

Albus felt his stomach clench in worry. "Um, Mr. Hat?" he thought timidly.

"Yes?" the hat said back, obviously amused.

"Can I just be in Gryffindor?" Albus thought.

"No," said the hat.

"What?" Albus thought in shock. But his dad had said…

"I'm just pulling your chain. The fact that you asked showed enough bravery. Gryffindor!" said the hat.

Grinning, Albus walked over and plopped next to Scorpius, who was sill soaking wet, and who let out a small sigh. As Rose walked to the front, Scorpius muttered, "She better not be in our house."

As soon as the hat touched her, however, it yelled, "Slytherin!" Rose screamed.

So did Scorpius and Kilee, "Yes!" the both shouted. Kilee immediately blushed and sat down when Rose glared at them, but Scorpius just beamed.

Albus watched in horror as his cousin walked to the Slytherin table and sat down. Rose, in Slytherin? Uncle Ron would have a heart attack. As Albus pondered Uncle Ron's reaction, he half heard Scorpius explain to the rest of the school that he didn't like Rose and was just glad she wasn't in his house. Albus didn't want to think about what Rose would do in retaliation.

James leaned over to Albus. "Slytherin?" he said in disbelief.

"Don't ask me," Albus shrugged.

"She was a Slytherin all over. I'd know, I live with them," Scorpius informed them, glaring at Rose, who was now laughing nervously at something a fellow Slytherin had said.

Professor Sprout, the headmistress, had stood up and was about to speak. Before she could though, Albus saw Rose point her want and mutter something. A poor Hufflepuff stood up and began to sing, loudly and boldly.

"I love mushrooms!" the Hufflepuff sang, looking confused. Rose giggled. Albus watched half entertained as a glaring Scorpius stalked over to the laughing Rose. Kilee had hurried over to the poor Hufflepuff flipping through a spell book as she went. She found a spell, but before she could use it, she joined the Hufflepuff in song. They kept going until Scorpius punched the boy next to Rose and threatened to snap her want. Then they stopped.

Professor Sprout, who had been talking the whole time, said "Let the feast begin."

And with much confusion (as the Slytherin boy and Scorpius began a fist fight) it did.

About 10 minutes later, Scorpius returned to the table. He was grinning and sporting a cut lip. Albus shook his head, while James roared with laughter and congratulated Scorpius. A half hour later, as Albus drifted off to sleep, he vaguely thought that this would be a very interesting year.

How right he was.


	3. Chapter 3: The War Starts

**Welcome to Hogwarts**

Co-written by Hayya3 and P.E.E.V.S.Y.

Please proceed with caution:

We are not responsible for injuries caused by falling down plot holes.

* * *

Chapter 3: The War Starts

The next day, classes started. Albus thought that the classes themselves were interesting enough, but not nearly as interesting as the way Scorpius, Kilee, and Rose interacted.

For example, during break, Rose decided that it was too quiet. So, she attempted to make Scorpius and Kilee sing. However, she overdid the spell and Scorpius and Kilee began to scream random phrases at the top of their lungs. It was funny until Kilee started to cry and Scorpius hexed Rose. Then Albus attempted to stop Rose from hexing Scorpius and Kilee attempted to thank him.

Somehow, Albus didn't know how, they all ended up in the hospital wing for the rest of the day with a week's worth of detention: even poor Kilee.

However, even a week of writing lines and cleaning the trophy room couldn't stop Rose. She continued to bother Kilee and Scorpius whenever she could. And Scorpius would retaliate in anyway he could. Poor Kilee always got caught in the crossfire and Albus always had a fit of guild and ended up trying to help. It never worked. The four of them were quick regulars in detention.

Albus didn't really mind the detentions. It was the most recent detention causing incident (Rose had bewitched several books to throw themselves at Scorpius) that caused Albus to regret taking part at all.

As he and Scorpius scrubbed the floor of the Great Hall Scorpius announced, "I think I hate your cousin."

"Really?" Albus mumbled sarcastically, "I'd never have guessed."

Scorpius went on as if he hadn't heard Albus, "I mean, I don't mind the detentions, honest. I don't even mind the constant Howlers from my dad. But, I really hate her picking on Kilee"

Albus froze. He didn't like where this was going.

"Is there anyway we can stop her?" Scorpius asked.

_Crap._ "Er," Albus started. He wasn't sure how much he could say. He know for a fact that the only reason Rose bother Kilee was because it annoyed Scorpius so much. So what was he supposed to say? He could tell Scorpius the truth and earn Roses' eternal wrath (eek!) or not tell him and earn Scorpius' eternal disgust.

_What to do, what to do,_ Albus mused thoughtfully.

His thoughts were interrupted when Professor Flitwick burst in. Behind him, a gleeful Rose and a frowning Kilee followed. All three were running. Flitwick stopped short at the sight of Albus and Scorpius. Rose, who was laughing, ran into him. Kilee fell over. Albus sighed and prepared for the explosion that was sure to come. What he did not expect was for Professor Flitwick to turn Rose into a statue and leave Kilee blubbering on the floor.

"Frogs are attacking Hogwarts! Run for your lives!" screamed Flitwick.

Albus blinked; Scorpius blinked; Kilee eyed the professor nervously and then turned to the two boys.

"I think Rose did something to him. He hasn't quite been right since Rose had to tell him something in private," Kilee informed them, giving the small Professor an odd look: Flitwick had begun to break dance.

Albus bit his lip and said, "I think you may be right."

"No kidding Einstein," Scorpius snapped, looking at Flitwick with disdain.

"So what do we do?" Kilee asked, slowly walking around to join the two boys.

"Well, first we do this," said Scorpius, pulling out his wand. Albus looked at his friend anxiously. If Scorpius was going to do what Albus thought he was going to do this would not end well. In the end, it turned out that Scorpius did exactly what Albus thought he was going to do. Nothing. Before he could, however, Flitwick came over again and stole Scorpius' wand.

"Hey!" Scorpius yelped, "Give me back my wand!"

Flitwick stuck his tongue out and made antlers with his hands cackling, "Nan-a-nan-a-boo-boo!"

Scorpius tackled him.

Kilee shrieked, "That's a teacher!"

"No," Scorpius grunted, struggling to grab his wand, "This is one of Weasley's evil minions,"

Just then, Professor Trelawny walked in. "What are you doing, Malfoy?" she screamed.

"Trying to stop Rose Weasley's evil minions from taking over the school," Kilee calmly announced, "And that," she pointed at the statue, "was Rose, but professor Flitwick turned her into a statue."

"Oh, okay," replied Professor Trelawny as she turned to leave.

"Great," Albus mumbled to himself, "My cousin's a statue, my best friend is wrestling with a midget and the teacher's have gone insane. This is just brilliant…" As soon as Albus thought that things couldn't get any worse, James walked in.

"What the…" James exclaimed, stopping dead and staring at the scene in front of him.

"AH-HA!" Scorpius yelled, brandishing his wand in the air, "I got it!"

Sparks flew from his wand and landed in Rose, who immediately became alive again. She instantly turned her wand on James and performed the same spell on him that she did on Flitwick. James began to jig with a goofy grin on his face. Laughing manically, Rose turned her wand on the three terrified 11-year-olds.

"RUN!" Albus screamed. Grabbing Kilee's hand and yanking her along, Scorpius immediately complied. They were almost at the door when Kilee stumbled and fell. Albus turned to help her up, but was hit by Rose's hex.

Ignoring his loudly singing and tap-dancing friend, Scorpius grabbed Kilee and ran. Rose gave chase. Finally the two friends hid behind a ruit of armor and Rose ran past.

"What are we going to do?" Kilee squeaked, "She's taking over the whole school! And she got Al!"

Suddenly, Peeves appeared.

"Oh noooo!" Scorpius groaned. He had honest thought things couldn't get worse. Luckily, Peeves went straight for Rose. He grabbed her by the back of her robe and flew down the hall.

"Go!" Scorpius hissed. He and Kilee ran back to the Great Hall. The three crazies were still doing their respective dances.

"Fix them!" Scorpius told Kilee, gesturing towards the crazies.

"Me?" Kilee said, beginning to go green, "Why me?"

"You're the Ravenclaw!" Scorpius exclaimed.

"But I have no idea what spell she used," Kilee yelled over Albus's singing.

"Just guess then!" said Scorpius.

Kilee gulped and yelled out, "Finite Incantatem!"

James, who she had pointed her wand at, was blasted straight up in the air, hit the ceiling, and fell back to the ground with a large bang and several sickening cracks. Kilee and Scorpius winced.

"Well," Scorpius said feebly, "At least he's not tap..." Scorpius froze as out of the corner of his eye he saw Rose slowly advancing on them, her hair frizzed out and her brown eyes wide and evil. She cackled.

"Oh dear," said Kilee.

Just then, Victoire Weasley, prefect and also James's, Albus's, and Rose's cousin, walked in with her friend Kate-Ann.

"Rose!" Victoire scolded, "Why are you intimidating those poor children?"

Rose was immediately the picture of innocence. "They did something to Al and Professor Flitwick! I was trying to make them right it out. And then they hurt James! On purpose too," Rose said.

Victoire looked shocked and then angry. "How dare you?" she yelled, "Detention for all next week! And 10 points to Slytherin for Rose trying to stop this atrocity."

Scorpius looked murderous. Ten minutes later, Victoire and Kate-Ann had put everything right, James was in the hospital wing with two broken arms, and Scorpius and Kilee were trying to convince Professor Vector that they were the victims and that their parents don't need to be informed of their wrong doings. It didn't work. Both students got howlers from their parents, Scorpius' hate of Rose was cemented forever more, and Albus had finally decided to side against his cousin.

Thus, one of the most infamous student wars began.


	4. Chapter 4: Consulting the Master

**Welcome to Hogwarts**

Co-written by Hayya3 and P.E.E.V.S.Y.

Please proceed with caution:

We are not responsible for injuries caused by falling down plot holes.

Chapter 4: Consulting the Master

A week later, Scorpius and Kilee were done with their detentions. They were in the library doing their homework when Albus walked up to them. He looked around shiftily, sat down and raised a book up to block his, Scorpius's and Kilee's faces from view. Kilee and Scorpius both leaned in, curious.

"I have received intelligence that Rose Weasley is going to attack us next month. She's planning on gluing all of us together by the hands and then throwing us in the lake," Albus told them.

"But I can't swim!" Kilee hissed, turning white.

"She's going to kill us!" Scorpius exclaimed angrily.

Albus rolled his eye, "I know! How're we gonna stop her?"

Kilee grinned evilly and said, "We need to begin **Operation: Which, not Witch**!"

"Huh?" Scorpius asked.

"What I think she means is that we need to get her before she can get us!" said Albus.

"Sure," Kilee agreed with a nod. There was a small pause.

"Great. Now what are we doing?" Scorpius asked with a nod.

"We need to consult…the Master," said Albus.

Kilee gasped, and then said, "Wait, who's the Master?"

Albus rolled his eyes, "Teddy Lupin, of course!"

"Ohh…" Kilee said and then paused, "Who's that?"

"He's only the most celebrated prankster since the Marauders were at Hogwarts.. there are even rumors that he's descended from one," said Scorpius.

Albus snorted, "He is you bird brain! And…" Albus gave a very evil grin, "He's also my god-brother."

"You're related to God?!?" asked Kilee.

Albus groaned, "Just come on. I'll write a letter to Teddy and hopefully he'll be able to meet with us."

So the three friends went to send their letter, which read the following;

(A/N: Underlined is crossed out)

_Dear Teddy,_

_Hey, it's Al. __Me and two friends__ Two friends and I have a problem. Some psycho person's going to tie us together and throw us in the lake. We need help. Any suggestions?_

_From Albus, with corrections by Kilee and zero input from the unhelpful Scorpius._

_P.S. Is it true Al's related to God?_

_See I helped! –S._

"Now all we have to do is wait," said Albus, watching the owl fly away.

And they did wait. And they waited and waited. Finally, the night before Rose was to kill them, Teddy's head appeared in the common room while Scorpius and Albus were desperately trying to finish an essay for tomorrow.

"It's about time!" said Albus as he knelt down to talk to Teddy.

"You should feel lucky I even showed. Vic was convinced you guys enchanted Flitwick and hurt James," Teddy said severely, "You're just lucky that I know Rose better then Victoire does. Rose is the psycho, isn't she?"

"Yup," said Scorpius.

"Let's get down to business. Harry's been in and out of here all night at random, I've no idea why, but if he catches me, we're all dead," said Teddy.

"Right. Well, then let's hurry it up. What do we do?" Albus asked urgently.

Teddy was about to begin before he frowned, "Where's your friend Kilee?"

"Another house. So?" Scorpius urged.

"Rose is terrorizing another house too?" Asked Teddy.

"Two houses actually," Said Scorpius, not seeing Albus's frantic motions to stop, "She's in Slytherin."

Albus groaned while Teddy jumped, "WHAT?" He shouted.

"Keep it down," Albus implored, "or else…"

Professor Vector walked in with a yawn. He gasped in shock when he saw Albus and Scorpius crowded in front of the fireplace talking to Teddy Lupin, his least favorite student of all time.

"Crud," Albus muttered.

"Her hair!" Teddy hissed before disappearing.

"What?" asked Scorpius, but it was no use; the Master had left.

In the end, the only things that the meeting had done were confused Scorpius and Albus as well as earn them another week's worth of detention. Morning soon came and they were without a plan. But Kilee Finnegan was not. After hearing about the meeting and the only advice given, she laughed gleefully and ran off to the library. Albus and Scorpius headed off to class very slowly, jumping at every noise.

But nothing happened until after class when Kilee reappeared clutching a book called: _The Runespore and Other Snakes: Charms, Guides, Enchantments, and Jinxes._

"I've got it!" Kilee announced as they hurried off to class under cover of their classmates.

"What are we going to do?" Said Albus.

"We," Kilee announced proudly, "Are going to turn Rose Charity Catherine Molly Weasley's hair into snakes that speak English and criticize everything she does!" Kilee could barely contain her excitement.

"That's brilliant!" Said Scorpius, "How do we do it?"

"Well," Kilee said, flipping though the book and pointing at the page, "We ambush her, Albus says this spell, Scorpius does this spell, and I do this spell. Then, we run like mad."

"Sounds good," said Albus as he copied down the spells, "We attack after Herbology!"


	5. Chapter 5: Operation: Which, not Witch

**Welcome to Hogwarts**

Co-written by Hayya3 and P.E.E.V.S.Y.

Please proceed with caution:

We are not responsible for injuries caused by falling down plot holes.

* * *

Chapter 5: Operation: Which, not Witch

As Albus waited behind the greenhouse he felt an odd sense of impending doom. Kilee was in the hall behind him, he was on the right side of the greenhouse and Scorpius on the left. They were waiting to ambush Rose, but Albus could not shake the feeling something bad was going to happen.

Just then, Rose and her fiend Molly-Ana Magdalena Goyle came around the corner.

"ATTACK!" screamed Kilee, and the three of them jumped out and cast their spells.

Unfortunately, Albus thought with a wince, Kilee's aim wasn't the best. She accidentally hit poor Molly-Ana instead of Rose. However, both Albus and Scorpius hit the right target. So, while Molly-Ana's hair began hissing nasty things at her, Rose's auburn hair just gained scary looking snake heads. Rose actually looked pretty pleased with them. It seemed as if Rose was going to once again win, until one of the snake heads on her hair bit her nose. Albus and Scorpius burst out laughing while Kilee, who was rather green again, just gave a faint smile before throwing up in the bushes, mumbling, "I hit the wrong person…"

The whole situation seemed as if it couldn't get any more amusing, and it didn't. Professor Vector happened to be walking past when Rose got bit. And Kilee accidentally hit his shoes.

He let out a shriek, "Detention, you vile little miscreants!"

Kilee began to cry, and Scorpius sent Professor Vector the evilest glare his 11-year-old self could muster. While Scorpius stomped over to make Kilee feel better, Albus saw Rose smirk and pet her snake hair happily as she walked away with a crying Molly-Ana Magdalena. Deciding that his cousin needed to be stopped once and for all, he raised his want and said the first spell that came to his mind. Rose collapsed to the ground in fits of giggles. Albus's heart sank. The tickling curse. Just brilliant.

"Hehe…stop…hehehe…please…heheheaha…Al, hehehe, please," she said, now rolling on the ground laughing. Albus smirked. Her please were almost worth the extra month of detention and almost worth the 20 points lost from Gryffindor and almost worth the Howler from his mum. However, he, Scorpius, and Kilee paid dearly for their moment of fun. They were thrown into the lake and their hands were stuck together for a week, which caused major problems for poor Kilee.

As the weeks went by, they dropped back into their normal routine of being terrorized by Rose, and then blamed for it. By the time Christmas Break came, Albus was ready to strangle his cousin. Scorpius and Kilee were both thankful for the opportunity to escape the castle and Rose, but Albus wasn't as lucky; he was going to spend the holidays at his grandparent's house, with Rose. And no matter how he tried to beg out of it, it was useless. As Albus reluctantly waved good-bye to his friends, he couldn't ever remember disliking Rose this much. In fact, if Albus recalled right, at the beginning of the year they'd been friends. His chain of thought was broken, however, when his younger sister Lily came running up to him.

"Allie!" She squealed as she gave him a hug. Albus winced at the nickname but smiled down at her.

"Hey Lil. How've you been?" Albus asked as they walked toward James and their parents.

Hoping that as long as he kept in conversation with Lily his mum wouldn't chem. Him out for all the detentions, he listened to Lily's 10 minute response about how she and Hugo had made up a card game. He nodded in all the right places and even asked the occasional question. He purposely didn't meet his mother's eyes as they headed toward the car. When they got to the car, he was disappointed to discover that his parents had shared a car with his aunt and uncle, which meant that he had to sit next to Rose all the way home. However, he spent the whole ride studiously ignoring her and when they did talk, Albus was surprised to find that she was perfectly civil.

When they got to The Burrow, Albus was glad to see that Teddy was joining them for the holidays as well. He definitely needed some lessons from "The Master". And he received them. For the whole duration for the holidays, Albus had lessons once a day for an hour. And, surprisingly, Albus actually felt he was learning something.

It was after one of these lessons that Albus ran into Lily. Except this Lily looked funny. Her eyes were rolled backwards and she looked really scary. But before he could runaway, Lily opened her mouth and began to speak in a rasping voice:

"_Destruction will rise again within Hogwarts' walls as the 2__nd__ generation begins to finish the fight their forefathers' began. Enemies will become friends and friends will become enemies as trouble haunts the Divine Thorn. She must remember the past to save the future and join forces with those she oppresses. Only then can she save her flesh and blood from almost certain perishing death. She must remember the past to save the future."_

Lily's eyes snapped back into focus. "What happened?" she asked, looking as confused as Albus was.

"I think you just made a prophecy, Lil," he said.

Lily snorted, "Oh haha, yeah right. Now really Al, what'd I do?"

Albus shrugged, "Sounded like a prophecy to me. At least it was definitely really confusing."

"What was confusing?" asked James, who was coming out of the kitchen.

"What Lily just said," Albus replied.

"He thinks I made a…" Lily froze and said in a low voice, "Al will give his little sister 20 galleons," She shook herself as James laughed, "Did I make another prophecy? Fork it up!"

"Yeah, right," said Albus.

Lily shrugged happily as she skipped away, "Well, it was worth a try."

The rest of the holidays went mostly without a hitch, except for when Lily made another prophecy when the whole family was present:

"_Another set of twins will haunt the Weasley clan. Their birth will inspire the Lost One to seed guidance from the Master. He'll realize that he'll need a Partner in Crime and will find not one but two. Together they'll overcome their obstacles in life's race. Their friendship will be unstoppable, which, unfortunately, the Chudley Cannons will not be. But only the Master can stop the Divine Thorn before it's too late. Another set of twins will haunt the Weasley clan…"_

Lily's eyes once again snapped into focus.

"Told you so," Albus informed James smugly. Meanwhile, the whole Weasley Clan was trying to figure out who was going to be stuck with twins. Justas everyone decided that George you get stuck with them, Ron yelled out, "I can't believe the Cannons are gonna lose again. That's almost 30 seasons in a row!"

Albus let out a chuckle. Just another holiday with the Weasleys… and the Potters… but mostly the Weasleys. The Potters were outnumbered at least 20 to 1.


	6. Chapter 6: The Rabbits

**Welcome to Hogwarts**

Co-written by Hayya3 and P.E.E.V.S.Y.

Please proceed with caution:

We are not responsible for injuries caused by falling down plot holes.

Chapter 6: The Rabbits

Before Albus knew it, the Christmas Holidays were over and he was on the train sitting next to Kilee and Scorpius explaining Lily's prophecies.

"Sounds barmy if you ask me," Scorpius announced when Albus finished.

"I dunno," Kilee frowned, "The Cannons losing sounds pretty accurate to me…"

"Of course it does, they lose every year," said Albus, rolling his eyes, "But the rest of the stuff she said, all this 'Divine Thorn' crap…"

"Well," Scorpius shrugged, "I completely agree with you, Al, but if you stretch it a bit you could come up with us having to finish off the Death Eaters once and for all. Other than that it's a load of dung."

Albus's reply was cut off by Kilee's response to the word dung, which was vomiting.

"What was that for, Kiles?" Albus asked, bewildered.

"Motion sickness and thinking of dung on top of it," Kilee shuddered, "I hate trains."

The rest of the ride passed in almost silence. Scorpius had gotten a chess set for Christmas and he and Albus played for awhile. Albus lost every game. Eventually, the train pulled to a stop and the three friends disembarked. However, just as Kilee was stepping off the train, Rose appeared, tripped her, and threw a water balloon at her head. It hit poor Kilee square in the forehead.

"I really hate that girl," Scorpius scowled as he and Albus helped Kilee (who had broken her foot) up the stairs and into the Entrance Hall, then up to the Hospital Wing. Madam Pomfrey was fixing up three other students who looked as though they too had encountered Rose's wrath.

"Dear, dear, Miss Finnegan," Madam Pomfrey clucked as she looked at Kilee holding on to her two friends, "What'd you do now?"

"I think she broke her foot," Albus informed the nurse as Kilee carefully sat down on the edge of the bed.

"Yes, that looks broken," said Madam Pomfrey.

A moment later, Kilee was all patched up and they were slowly ambling towards Hagrid's hut, discussing the Rose problem.

"We really need a way to stop her," said Scorpius.

"I know," Albus agreed, "I talked to Teddy and he gave me a few pointers in case she ever tries anything again."

"Which she will," Scorpius said glumly.

Kilee sighed as she knocked on the half-giant's door. Immediately Fang started barking. Moments later the three friends were ushered inside and offered a cup of tea by Hagrid. Just as Albus was beginning to stop being angry, he was Rose and Molly-Ana Magdalena coming down the path to Hagrid's hut.

"Oh no, she can sense happiness now," said Scorpius with a groan.

"Who?" Hagrid asked, walking over to the window. When he saw Rose his face lit up, "Oh! Rosie's 'ere. Haven't seen 'er in awhile."

"I think we need to keep it that way," said Albus as he watched Rose get closer.

Kilee whimpered and attempted to hide behind Albus as Hagrid watched, bemused.

"When she knocks, don't answer!" said Scorpius.

"Now come on," Hagrid began with a frown, "She's perfectly nice…"

Kilee let out a high pitched derisive laugh. "Nice?!?" she squeaked, "She's the freakin' devil!"

Hagrid looked even more confused, but before he could say anything Rose knocked on the door. The reaction was immediate. Scorpius sprinted to the far back wall and trained his wand on the front door. Albus grabbed the back of Hagrid's moleskin and uselessly attempted to hold him back while Kilee dived under the table, whimpering.

"Cut it out, you guys. I invited 'er 'ere and I've got to let 'er in," said Hagrid, trying to shake Albus off.

"You can't! Please Hagrid!" Albus pleaded as he was dragged after Hagrid toward the door.

"Run!!" Kilee screamed as she jumped out the back window.

Scorpius and Albus were quick to follow, leaving a stunned Hagrid behind. Unfortunately, Rose saw them. Kilee, Scorpius, and Albus all froze under Rose's now manic eye.

"Retreat! Retreat!" Kilee shrieked.

The three friends took off running, Rose and her goon not far behind. Hagrid was watching from his hut, confused.

As the chase continued, Albus directed them towards the forest, desperately… he knew Rose was afraid of it…

"What are you doing?" asked Kilee, "We can't go in there; we'll actually earn detention then!"

"What's the difference?" called Scorpius, "Chances are we'll get one anyway! Might as well be fore something we've done instead of psycho lady." He jerked his thumb in Rose's direction as a hex just missed his head.

They ran into the forest and ducked behind a tree.

"She shouldn't follow us here," said Albus, "She's terrified of the forest."

And, sure enough, for a moment Rose stopped and seemed to consider her options. Just the, however, Professor Vector walked up behind Rose.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

Scorpius groaned as Rose adopted her angel face. But before she could speak up, Albus felt Kilee grab both of their hands and very quietly sneak deeper into the forest, taking them with.

"Lumos," said Albus, holding up his want.

Luckily, or unluckily depending on how you look at it, the three friends were now so far in the woods that they couldn't see out. It seemed as if they could actually stay out of trouble, for once. Then it happened.

A cute little bunny hopped out at them.

"Awww!" squealed Kilee, "Look at how cute he is!" She ran up to the cute little bunny and began to pet hit. "Do you think I can keep him?"

No one answered her, because six more cute little bunnies had hopped over to Kilee. Kilee giggled happily and began to pet all the ones who came near her. "I love bunnies!"

Soon there were at least 125 cute little bunnies surrounding Kilee.

At first Albus thought this was pretty amusing and Scorpius did too, but by their watches it was almost curfew. Albus didn't want to escape trouble just to get into more of it.

"C'mon Kilee, it's time to get back to school," Albus informed her. But the bunnies wouldn't let her stand back up.

"I think they want Kilee to stay," said Scorpius.

"Ohh… I'm sorry bunnies, but I have to go now," Kilee told her new friends. But they still wouldn't let her stand up. And ten more bunnies had just hopped toward her so she was now almost buried by the cuteness.

"Kilee!" Albus screamed. He ran over and picked up one of the Rabbits. It bit him on the finger, hard.

"Aaargh!" he yelped, shaking it off. The rest of the rabbits were now jumping on Albus.

Scorpius pulled out his wand and began blasting the bunnies off his friend. However, while it may have saved Albus, Kilee was now being carried off by the bunnies.

"Help!" she yelped.

Scorpius stunned one of the rabbits and picked it up. "If you ever want to see your friend again, put her down!" Scorpius yelled. It was no use; the rabbits continued to carry Kilee away.

"Now what?" Scorpius demanded, chucking the rabbit over his shoulder.

"Dang it! I wish we had the Holy Hand Grenade!" Albus muttered as he and Scorpius ran after Kilee.

"The what?" Scorpius frowned.

"Never mind. Muggle thing,"

They continued to run after Kilee, but soon they could no longer see her or the bunnies. In desperation, Albus used one of the Master's tricks: He let out a loud yodel. Immediately, three owls began attacking him.

"Gerroff me!" Albus yelped batting away the evil birds.

Then, Scorpius yelled, "Accio Kilee!"

Kilee came flying through the air, rammed into Scorpius, and knocked him to the ground.

Suddenly, the ground began to shake; over 600 rabbits were running toward them.

"RUN!!" screamed Kilee.

And run they did. As they sprinted out of the forest and onto the now dark grounds, Albus thought they must have been a funny sight. Three first-years, one being attacked by owls, (he was going to murder Teddy), being chased across the grounds by a bunch of rabbits. And they were all screaming bloody murder.

Just as they were about to get into the safety of the castle, one bunny fastened his teeth onto Albus's arm.

"Get it, get it!" screamed Kilee.

Scorpius began to hit it over the head as they slammed the castle doors shut. But it didn't let go. In a moment of crazy epiphany, Albus began to pet it. It immediately became just a cute little bunny again.

"I think I just found Rose's birthday present," said Albus.

Cackling evilly, Kilee left for the Ravenclaw tower, while Scorpius and Albus headed to Gryffindor. He fell asleep imagining the look of Rose's face when she got a killer rabbit for her birthday…


	7. Chapter 7: The Letters

**Welcome to Hogwarts**

Co-written by Hayya3 and P.E.E.V.S.Y.

Please proceed with caution:

We are not responsible for injuries caused by falling down plot holes.

* * *

Chapter 7: The Letters

A week later Albus, Scorpius, and Kilee were all in the library working on homework. The bunny, who had taken a big liking to Scorpius, was sitting on the floor like a guard dog.

"You know," Albus suddenly said, "I think Lily's second prophesy was a fake. I mean, come on, 'guidance from The Master'? All the guidance he's given me ended up backfiring." He still had scratches from the owls.

"Uh oh," said Kilee, "Here comes the Psycho."

Rose and Molly Ana had just walked in.

Scorpius groaned, "How does she always find us?"

But unlike the other times she had found them, she didn't approach them. Instead, she appeared to be in deep conversation with Molly Ana. Every once in a while, she'd look over her shoulder nervously.

"What is she waiting for?" asked Kilee nervously, picking up their 'guard rabbit'.

"I dunno," Albus muttered, "This isn't like her…"

"She looks…afraid," Scorpius said slowly, as if he might be wrong. After all, Rose Weasley was the devil herself. What could she be afraid of?

Just then the guard bunny jumped out of Kilee's arms and ran toward the door. When he ran under Rose's table, she screamed and ran too.

Scorpius blinked, "Someone's jumpy today. And where'd Killer head off to?" he asked, referring to the bunny.

"Who knows?" said Albus as he went back to his potions essay, only to find that it was gone.

"Hey!" said Scorpius when he saw that his was gone too, "Killer stole our essays!"

Kilee rolled her eyes, "You dropped them. They're on the floor."

As Albus and Scorpius sheepishly grabbed their essays, Rose walked back into the library, jumping at every little noise. As Scorpius straightened up, he banged his head on the table. Rose once again screamed and fled the library.

The Gryffindor stared at the doorway as Killer hopped back to the table looking pleased with himself. Behind him were two more bunnies.

"Oh no," said Scorpius.

The bunnies made a beeline straight for Kilee. Kilee gulped and then calmly (well, relatively calmly) stood up on her chair. Scorpiuus scooped up Killer and glared at him, "Why do you lot keep trying to steal Kilee?"

Killer's ears just wobbled. And his nose wiggled. And he was just a cute little bunny. Who could be mad at him?

One of the bunnies gave Kilee a forlorn look before hopping over to Albus and staring up at him. Just then, Madam Pince walked in and was horrified to see wild animals in the library. She reached down to pick up one, but as soon as she did, 600 more came bursting in and began to drag her away as they did Kilee.

Killer and his two friends stayed though. And as Albus looked at Killer, he could have sworn he winked.

"Can you take care of Professor Vector next time?" Albus asked Killer, who just wobbled his cute little ears.

"You've lost it…" said Scorpius.

Kilee giggled as she nervously hopped off the chair and sat down again. The bunny still be Kilee's chair jumped in her lap. Kilee began to pet it as Rose once again entered, looking slightly worse for the wear. Kilee banged her book on the desk and watched in delight as Rose ran and hid behind a bookshelf.

"What is up with her today?" Albus frowned as Scorpius laughed.

The rest of the day went by fast, as the two other bunnies quickly became Albus's and Kilee's pets as well. Albus called his Fluffy, while Kilee named hers Bai. When asked why, she replied, "Because I like that name. Now pass the toadstools."

Other than that, the day remained uneventful until after supper, when they overheard Rose talking to someone nervously. Albus hid behind a book so he could listen without being seen. Scorpius grabbed him and shoved him behind a suit of armor while he just stayed on the other side of the corner with Kilee. It turned out that Rose was talking to Molly Ana.

"I don't know what to do," Rose moaned, "I can't not do it, but I can't do it either! I'm so worked up I can't even tease the Idiot Brigade!"

"Who?" Molly Ana asked.

"Malfoy, Finnigan, and Al," Rose replied, rolling her eyes.

"The Idiot Brigade?" mouthed Kilee, suppressing giggles. Scorpius grinned and then motioned for her to keep listening.

"—the letters! I can't tell my parents, either. They'd murder me!" Rose continued.

Just then, Kilee let out a snort of suppressed laughter.

Rose stopped talking.

"Go!" Scorpius hissed, abandoning Albus and running with Kilee.

Albus gulped from where he hid behind the statue. Some friends he had, Albus thought sarcastically.

"What are you doing?" snarled Rose when she found him.

However, before Rose could hurt him, three bunnies jumped out of nowhere and began to attack her, Fluffy leading the way. Albus ran for it. A few corridors away he found Scorpius and Kilee laughing.

He glared at them, "You left me for dog meat!"

"S-s-sorry Al," Kilee snickered.

"The Idiot Brigade?" Scorpius said laughing, "Is that really the best she could come up with?"

"Yeah, well," Albus shrugged," we're not ones to talk. We call her the Psycho."

The three bunnies hopped over to them. Albus bent down to pet them, "At least you three didn't abandon me."

Kilee sighed, "Come on Bai," she said to her bunny, "See you two later." And Kilee left for the Ravenclaw common room. Fluffy and Killer both took off after her.

As Albus lay down to go to bed, he vaguely wondered why Rose was so afraid. What letters couldn't she tell her parents about? He supposed he'd have to convince Kilee and Scorpius to investigate…

The next day, however, he had more to worry about. Rose seemed to be in an awful mood and that day was flying lessons for the Gryffindors and Slytherins. Kilee had even given them the bunnies as an extra precaution against Rose. Albus hoped he wouldn't need them.

"Alright class, get by your broomsticks, you should know what to do," Madam Hooch told the class.

Scorpius and Albus purposely chose brooms very far away from Rose. Rose, however, followed them. By the time they noticed, there were no other brooms left. Albus felt very relieved Kilee had left them the bunnies. Rose looked meaner than usual.

Just then, everything seemed to happen at once: Bai, Fluffy, and Killer jumped at Rose, Scorpius fell over, and Rose attempted to hex Albus. As Bai, Fluffy, and Killer had impeccable timing, Rose's wand jerked and her hex instead hit Madam Hooch straight in the nose.

Rose ran away. Bai, Fluffy, and Killer hopped over to Albus looking very pleased with themselves.

Just then, Rose came back wielding an egg-shaped object with a cross on top.

"Oh no!" said Albus, "She has the Holy-Hand Grenade!"

Scorpius scrambled to his feet, "Is that the crazy thing that's supposed to get rid of the bunnies?"

Albus nodded, "Uh huh."

The bunnies attacked Rose. "Ahh!" she screamed.

She threw the grenade in the air.

"Everybody get down!" said Scorpius.

Albus looked at him, bewildered, "Why will dancing help?"

The bunnies bowled him over. As Albus hit the ground, the grenade exploded. And everyone started to dance. Madam Hooch blinked and then groaned. And then she 'got down'. Scorpius burst out laughing… his chuckles increased when the smoke cleared and Rose stood coughing, her face full of soot and hair singed.

Bai, Killer, and Fluffy started to dance. Albus joined in on the general laughter. Ropse looked simply furious.

Once the dance was done, Bai, Killer, and Fluffy took off for their forest home.

"Don't go!" yelled Albus. Bai stopped, turned around, wobbled her ears, and came back. Killer and Fluffy ever so reluctantly followed her lead… but then they hopped past. Scorpius and Albus frowned and turned around to see Kilee hurrying toward them, looking worried.

"Madam Hooch! Madam Hooch! Professor Sprout says all the classes and students are supposed to go inside! There's been an attack! The teachers are suppose to go to her office!"

* * *

Chocolate is good, Reviews are better:-D


	8. Chapter 8

**Welcome to Hogwarts**

Co-written by Hayya3 and P.E.E.V.S.Y.

Please proceed with caution:

We are not responsible for injuries caused by falling down plot holes.

Chapter 8: We never titled it, so it's just chapter 8.

* * *

Everyone slowly followed her orders. Kilee hurried after her two friends and Albus could see that she looked terrified. Scorpius apparently did too, as he gave Kilee an anxious look.

"You okay?" he asked.

Kilee gave a high, pretend laugh. "I'm just…just peachy!"

"Everything will be okay," said Scorpius.

Kilee gave a weak grin, "Yeah."

Albus and Scorpius exchanged looks and Albus continued, "Whatever happened, my dad'll be able to fix it!"

"Not according to my dad," said Scorpius.

Albus rolled his eyes as they headed toward the castle. "Oh, what does he know?"

"He can be pretty convincing at times," Scorpius said.

Albus glared. Kilee whimpered, Scorpius's eyes widened and he hurriedly said, "But I'm sure he's wrong this time,"

They had reached the doors to the Great Hall and saw Victoire and Kate-Ann coming towards them.

"What's going on?" asked Albus.

"It's James," answered Victoire.

"What?" Albus asked in a very small voice. Kilee burst into tears. Even Scorpius (who was awkwardly patting Kilee on the head) looked taken aback.

"What happened?" Albus asked again.

"Well, James had snuck into Hogsmeade and… and… and…" Victoire burst out sobbing.

"Albus, you're supposed to go with Victoire to the Hospital Wing," said Kate-Ann, putting her arm around Victoire. Albus stared at his two friends helplessly: one sobbing, one looking rather shell-shocked.

Albus gulped. "Al-alright." He started to walk, Kilee and Scorpius right behind him. As they started up the grand staircase, Albus glanced around and asked, "What about Rose?"

Scorpius scowled, "She's still outside. Ran off to the woods when Kilee let us all know." Albus stopped dead.

"Should we send someone after her?" Kate-Ann asked Victoire.

"After what happened to James?" Victoire squeaked.

"What exactly happened to James?" Albus demanded.

"Well," Victoire muttered, biting her lip, "You see…" She burst out crying again. Kate-Ann decided to take over.

"Last night, James was sneaking back from Hogsmeade, and he got too close to the Forbidden Forest, and he was, well, attacked by a werewolf," said Kate-Ann.

Albus let out a loud moan and sank to the ground. Kilee cried harder.

"Will he be okay? Who all knows about this? Did they just find him?" Scorpius asked anxiously.

"Professor Sprout will be able to fill us in," said Kate-Ann. They slowly made their way to the Hospital Wing. Once there, Albus felt his stomach rebelled. There, lying on a bed was his older brother, worst enemy, and best friend. His entire right side was covered in blood. Professor Sprout hurried forward when she saw them.

"What happened?" asked Albus.

"A werewolf and several unknown persons. The centaurs found him just a little bit ago. And there have been some dangerous people in Hogsmeade. He ought to be alright though. Your parents should be here in a bit."

The doors opened and Rose walked in with her friend, Molly Ana. The seven students all sat in silence waiting for the Potters to show up and as Albus sat there, feeling bad for his brother, he was suddenly assaulted with an idea of brilliant proportions. It was genius! Albus poked the crying Kilee and white faced Scorpius. "Meet me in the library after hours. Bring your bunnies!"

Kilee now looked petrified as well as heartbroken. Albus wished, not for the first time, that his friend was a bit braver. Scorpius opened his mouth to ask what Albus was planning, but he was interrupted by the doors opening again and Harry and Ginny Potter walking in. Scorpius immediately fell silent.

The rest of the day passed in sad and uncomfortable moments. James hadn't woken up yet. Finally, Scorpius, Kilee, and all non-family members were kicked out of the Hospital Wing. While the Potters and Weasleys waited anxiously for James to wake up, Albus's plan became more complicated and organized. Finally, Ginny kicked everyone out saying they needed to sleep for school tomorrow.

But Albus didn't go to his common room, but instead went straight to the library. When he got there, he saw Scorpius and Kilee sitting at a table in the corner with Fluffy, Killer, and Bai hopping around on the floor.

"Well?" Scorpius demanded quietly when Albus sat down. "What's your plan?"

Albus looked around cautiously, "Anyone here?"

Kilee snorted, "Al, I hate to break it to you, but it's 2'o'clock in the morning. Of course no one's here. They're all asleep like nice normal people should be."

"This is more important than sleep," Albus said, waving away Kilee's comment. Then, he explained his idea. Scorpius looked excited, Kilee horrified.

Just then, the library doors burst open. Kilee, Scorpius, and Albus quickly ducked under the table and looked to see who came in. It was Harry.

"Crap…" whispered Albus.

Then, the three bunnies attacked. This gave the three 11-year-olds just enough time to dart out of the table and hide behind a bookcase.

"What're you yelling about?" said a second voice.

Albus watched with increasing horror as his mother strode in and started to laugh at his father.

"What is this?" Scorpius hissed, "A family reunion?"

The doors opened a third time, and Ron walked in, followed by Hermione. Albus felt slightly lightheaded as the bunnies, realizing they were outnumbered, beat a very fast retreat. Kilee looked relieved that none of them were at all hurt.

"What are they doing here?" Scorpius demanded very quietly.

"I dunno," whispered Albus, sitting down, "I just hope they don't stay long."

"Al should be here," Harry muttered, "he had that crazy 'I have a brilliant idea' look in his eyes. Then he said something to his friends and I heard the word 'library'. I'm trying to save my son and his friends from disaster. Ginny's helping me. Now, explain why you're here again?"

Ron's reply was cut short by Kilee sneezing. Scorpius and Albus exchanged 'oh, crap' looks and then both of them grabbed one of Kilee's hands and yanked her away. The bunnies followed. And what ensued Albus was sure would go down in history as one of the biggest chase in Hogwarts' history. The three 11-year-olds darted between shelves, dodged behind tables, and vaulted over desks and piles of books. Finally, in a fit of desperation, Albus and Scorpius yanked themselves, Kilee, and the bunnies up one of the shelves and sat on top of the fifty foot bookshelf watching as the adults ran around the library and finally gave up and went away.

Albus let out a sigh of relief and Scorpius grinned, "That was fun!"

Kilee, who had buried her face in her hands, whimpered and then slowly said in a trembling voice, "And this is why we shouldn't become illegal animagis like your grandpa. Not only will James not need us, but we'll probably end up stuck in some ridiculous situation. Like this!"

"I think it's a good idea," said Scorpius.

"Yeah, well," Kilee snarled, "you also climbed a bookcase."

Scorpius rolled his eyes and said, "You'd have been caught for sure if we hadn't dragged you away."

Kilee stuck her tongue out at Scorpius, reached over to hit him on the head, lost her balance, and fell off the bookshelf.

"Crap!" said Scorpius.

"Run, Kilee!" Albus hiss, as he and Scorpius jumped off the shelf and took off running.

Kilee, limping, struggled to keep up. "Why are we running?" she whimpered.

"Yeah," said Scorpius, stopping dead, "why are we?"

"I…uh…don't know," Albus said, looking around.

"Probably 'cause you lot are always running" a familiar voice said, "usually from me." Rose appeared from behind a bookcase, smirking,

"Lately you've been running too, Weasley," said Scorpius.

Rose rolled her eyes, "Yeah, well, it's not my fault I don't want to be blinded by that ugly thing you call a face, Malfoy."

Kilee glared, "Shut up, Rose."

"Ohh…does Finnigan fancy icky Malfoy?"

"No, I just don't like you," Kilee snapped, hopping up and down on her right foot, trying not to fall over.

"Well, as enlightening as this conversation is, I didn't come here to make you all miserable. I'm here to talk about James, so let's call this a…temporary truce," Rose said, walking forward.

"Fine," said Albus. What happened next was probably the strangest thing in the history of, not only Hogwarts, but the whole world.

"I feel bad for James, so I think we should all become illegal animagis," Rose announced,

"You…you do?" Albus said in disbelief.

Rose snarled, "Of course not. Just wanted to see if you were stupid enough to think you could. I actually just wanted to tell you James is up now. See ya!" With that, Rose left.

Kilee turned to Albus. "That's it. We're becoming animagi!"


	9. Chapter 9: Becoming Animagi Not really

**Welcome to Hogwarts**

Co-written by Hayya3 and P.E.E.V.S.Y.

Please proceed with caution:

We are not responsible for injuries caused by falling down plot holes.

Chapter 9: Becoming Animagi. Not Really.

The next day, Albus, Kilee, and Scorpius (AKA the Idiot Brigade) went back up to the hospital wing tired from their long night of planning but determined nonetheless. James grinned at them in relief when he saw them. "Thank Merlin! Al least someone hasn't abandoned me! All my 'friends' are treating me like a leper!"

"Why?" asked Kilee.

James laughed, "And you're a Ravenclaw? Because I'm now a werewolf. At least, that's what my friend Alexandria Brittan said before she ran away screaming."

Albus raised his eyebrows, "Some friends you've got."

James rolled his eyes, "Yeah, right."

"Anyway, speaking of your lousy friends, we've had an idea…" And then Albus told him everything.

"But…" said James, "That's really dangerous… what if you get caught?"

"Deny it, then run," Scorpius said with a serious expression.

"You don't have to, you know," James tried to hide his excitement, "I mean, I have wolfsbane."

"We're doing this!" Kilee snapped, "If only to prove that stupid Rose Weasley wrong!"

"Yeah," Scorpius agreed with a nod.

"So what happened, exactly?" Albus asked, "They never really gave us any specifics."

James winced, "Well, I was being a bit of an idiot."

"When aren't you?" Albus grinned.

"Oh ha ha…" James said, rolling his eyes again, "Hilarious."

"Shush, Al," Kilee said, "I want to know what happened!"

James sighed, "Why do my only friends have to be 1st years? Well, anyway, this is what happened: I wasn't going into Hogsmeade. I was going to meet Rose."

"You were what?!" Albus stammered.

"Look," James snapped, "I know it was stupid. After all, I've been hearing your horror stories all year. Anyway, so I went to meet her in the forest and she wasn't there."

Kilee shuddered, and then said "You should've told us. We could have loaned you our bunnies."

James gave her a very strange look and then continued, "I waited for her for about 20 minutes, but she never showed. Anyway, it was getting kinda creepy so I started heading back. Then, some freaky guys jumped out at me. I really don't remember what happened next."

"So Rose set you up to be attacked?" Albus asked, stunned.

James shrugged, "I dunno. I didn't think so at first. It just seemed like really bad luck on my part. But, then, last night after I woke up, she burst out crying telling me she was sorry and that it was all the letters' fault. Whatever that means."

Albus, Scorpius, and Kilee exchanged dark looks. "We heard her talking about some letters a few weeks ago," said Scorpius, "said if her parents find out they'd murder her."

James snarled, "She nearly killed me. So," he looked excited again, "How're you gonna…you know…?"

Kilee suddenly looked very intelligent and in charge. Albus and Scorpius both groaned. "Did you have to ask?" Scorpius moaned, putting his head in his hands. Kilee whacked him across the head, "Be quiet. He asked a question and I was about to answer him."

Scorpius and Albus both glared at the now uneasy James. "What'd I do?" James asked, frowning. "She'll never shut up," Albus whined. Kilee glared at him. "Fine," she snapped, standing up, "If you don't want my help, I'll just leave." No one said anything.

"I mean it, I'm leaving!" Kilee said as she turned toward the door. Still, no one said anything. Kilee left in a huff and Scorpius and Albus looked sort of surprised. "Huh," Scorpius mused, "I didn't think she would." "Oops," Albus shrugged. James just laughed.

"She's probably waiting outside for us to come after her," Scorpius said. "I am not!" Kilee yelled from outside.

"Oh? Really?" Scorpius called back, grinning, "Then where are you?"

"I'm…erm…walking away!" Kilee shouted back after a pause.

"Bye!" called James.

"Fine! Losers!" Kilee shouted. The boys waited for a moment. "5 sickles says she's still there," Albus said. "You're on!" Scorpius grinned. Albus walked toward the door. Just as he got there, the doors opened and Kilee burst in and smacked into Albus, who fell over. "Ow!" said Kilee, holding her head

"Decided to come back after all?" James grinned.

"No," Kilee scowled, rubbing her head and stepping over Albus, who was still on the floor. "I forgot my books," she informed them, grabbing her bag, "I'm not coming back this time!"

"Okay, bye!" said Scorpius with a wave. Kilee stepped back over Albus and stormed out of the Hospital wing. Albus got up from the floor with a grin, "I win!" James, laughing his head off, said, "We're so mean…"

Just then, Bai the rabbit hopped in, saw Scorpius, and jumped on him. "AHHHH!" yelled Scorpius, wrestling with the angry bunny, "Get her off, get her off! Killer, help!" Killer just gave him a disdainful look and hopped away. "What on earth is going on in here?" Madam Pomphrey demanded as she came bursting in. Bai stopped immediately and gave the elderly woman her best 'innocent little bunny-rabbit look'. Scorpius glared at the rabbit and said bitterly, "Nothing, Madam Pomphrey."

The second that she stepped out of the room Bai became rabid once again. Luckily, before Scorpius got seriously injured, Kilee sprinted back in looking terrified. "Kilee, what's going on?" Albus asked, a little worried. "Angry 6th year Slytherins!" Kilee squeaked, jumping behind James's bed and hiding behind it. Bai joined her and together they cowered. Then, in walked Viviana Nott, the scariest Slytherin there was. Albus gulped. Behind her was Petra Montague.

"Kilee," Scorpius hissed, "What'd you do?"

"I tripped," Kilee squeaked.

"That's why they're after you?" Albus asked.

"Well," said Kilee, "After I tripped, my wand flew out of my bag and hit another Slytherin on the forehead."

"And?" Scorpius prompted.

Kilee winced, "It set her hair on fire."

Scorpius, Albus, and James all snorted. "Nice," James grinned, "Really nice."

"Where is she?" Viviana screamed, looking around wildly. If Albus looked close enough, he could see singed hair. "Maybe she's outside!" yelled Scorpius in a high voice. To his surprise, Viviana and Petra ran out the door to continue their search for Kilee. "Talk about being an idiot," muttered Albus.

Kilee slowly emerged from behind the bed, "They gone?"

"Uh-huh," James grinned. Then he looked at his little brother and his friends and asked, "Does stuff like this happen often?"

Albus, Scorpius, and Kilee exchanged long, suffering glances. "All the time," Kilee confirmed.

"I think I'm going to like being friends with you lot," James said happily.


	10. Chapter 10: The Next Day was Saturday

**Welcome to Hogwarts**

Co-written by Hayya3 and P.E.E.V.S.Y.

Please proceed with caution:

We are not responsible for injuries caused by falling down plot holes.

* * *

**Chapter 10: The Next Day was Saturday/I speak for the Trees**

The next day was Saturday.

Normally, Scorpius, Kilee and Albus would either be relaxing or running away from Rose. _That_ Saturday though, Kilee had dragged them to the library to get as many books on animagi as they could. Then she forced them to go to the Hospital Wing, distributed the books between them, James and herself and forced them to read and take notes on it. Albus was shocked to find that such a tiny, cowardly girl could be so effective in forcing poor innocent boys to waste away their Saturday.

"This is going to be more difficult than I thought," said Kilee after three hours of searching.

"I say we take a break," Scorpius said hopefully.

Kilee hit him across the head with a book, "No! _You_ were the ones who wanted to do this so bad. So _you_ are going to help me!" Kilee snapped.

"Look, Kilee," said Albus, "We've been at this for hours. I think that a break is a good idea."

Kilee snorted, "Al, five minutes ago, the three of you took a 10 minute bathroom break. Then, six minutes before _that_ you took a two hour lunch break and, about a half an hour before that, you locked me in the closet for 47 minutes! Now get to work!"

"Fine," said Scorpius defeatedly.

An hour later, however, they still hadn't found anything in the books that would give them even a small hint on how to become animagi.

"Okay…" Kilee finally sighed, "Maybe a break would be a good idea…"

"If you insist," said Scorpius, closing the book he had been reading.

"Excellent!" James said enthusiastically, "Now we can move onto more pressing matters…"

Albus gave his brother a wary look. This couldn't be good…

"How are we going to get me out of the Hospital Wing? I think I'm slowly losing my mind in here," James finished with a grin.

"What mind?" asked Albus.

Scorpius and Kilee snickered as James chucked a piece of parchment at Albus' head.

Albus tried to retaliate by throwing another piece at James, but missed and hit Scorpius. He threw a piece at Albus, missed, and hit Kilee. Soon there was a full-blown parchment war taking place.

However, it soon got out of control and the next thing anyone knew, the four friends (even the injured James) were running around the school chucking parchment at each other.

Kilee was winning, partly because she had better aim, but mostly because she managed to teach Bai, Killer and Fluffy to steal paper from Albus, Scorpius and James. Just as Kilee was about to claim victory, one Albus Severus Potter mad the worst throw of his life.

Just as Professor Vector walked into the hall the last battle was taking place in, Albus threw. It hit him right in the eye.

"OW!" he howled.

"Crap," said Albus.

That was how the four friends came to spend two months in detention, cleaning out and alphabetizing the library. When Scorpius complained that all they'd done was hit him in the eye, Vector went on to explain the _huge_ mess they left around the school and add on _another_ month.

And _that_ was how they found the book.

It was Kilee who found it. They were pulling all the books off of a shelf in the Potions section of the library. (the very same shelf they had climbed.) There, jammed in the very back, was an old leather bound journal that said in bold letters 'Property of the one and only Sirius Black. KEEP OUT!'

Which meant, of course, that James opened it.

Every page was filled top to bottom with writing, cross-outs and drawings. The first half of the book contained, to Kilee, Albus, Scorpius and James's excitement, step by step instructions on how to become Animagi.

"Yes!" Kilee exclaimed, "Let's read it!"

James turned it to the first page which read: Break into ole Sluggy's office and get that moonbeam stone. And steal Evans' mirror."

Kilee blinked.

Albus blinked.

James blinked.

"What?" Scorpius asked, bewildered.

"That's what it says," said James.

"Maybe it's some kind of code?" Kilee suggested.

"Right… so, uh… what could it mean?" Albus asked hopefully.

They spent the next hour searching the journal for the key to break the code but came up empty.

"Now what?" asked Albus.

"Maybe only this Sirius guy can read it?" Kilee said with a shrug

"Okay, say he can," Said Scorpius, "How are _we_ supposed to read it?"

"We have to find him!" said James.

"Wait…" Albus said, suddenly feeling really stupid, "James, we're _really_ dumb., What's your middle name?"

"Sirius. After Dad's… oh. Oops…" James blushed.

"Wait," said Kilee, "Your dad's who?"

"Godfather. Sirius Black. This guy. He's where we got the idea from. And he's kinda dead," Albus explained with a shrug.

"That's a problem," said Kilee.

"Yeah. But I know that moonstone thingy is a potions ingredient and I think they just needed a mirror. So, well, I guess we can start with that," Scorpius said doubtfully.

"Okay," said James, "Let's go find a moon stone."


	11. Chapter 11: I Speak for the Trees

**Welcome to Hogwarts**

Co-written by Hayya3 and P.E.E.V.S.Y.

Please proceed with caution:

We are not responsible for injuries caused by falling down plot holes.

**Chapter 11: I Speak for the Trees**

**

* * *

**

"Wait, we're what?" Kilee squeaked a week later as she, James, Albus, and Scorpius waited outside the potion room. Scorpius rolled his eyes, "We're stealing a moonstone from Professor Parkinson's room."

"How exactly do you plan on doing this without getting caught?" Kilee demanded.

James gave her an odd look, "We're not going to. You are."

"What?" Kilee squeaked, "Why me?"

"You're good at the whole sneaking thing," Albus explained, "Besides, it was either that, or you could play distraction and Scorpius and James are doing that."

"What are you doing?" Kilee demanded.

"Lookout, 'cause I'm bad at distracting and can't sneak to save my life," Albus said.

Kilee thought for a moment, then sighed, "Fine, I'll sneak."

"Great," James said brightly, "The distraction is in 5…4…3…2…1!" James and Scorpius took off running. Albus and Kilee both hid behind a suit of armor.

Then… BANG! BANG! BANG! POP!

Professor Parkinson ran out her room, wand drawn. This was her free period. Then, Kilee ran into the classroom towards the private stores.

"Moonstone...moonstone," she muttered to herself as she dug through the bottles of potions ingredients, "I don't even know what a moonstone looks like!"

"Hurry up!" Albus hissed. Kilee looked towards the ceiling, then, in an act of brilliance (or stupidity), stole the whole cupboard.

"Wha…" Albus said in shock when he saw Kilee carrying an armful of potions ingredients.

"I didn't know what a moonstone looked like, so I just grabbed everything!" Kilee said, handing some of her load to Albus. Albus looked slightly shell-shocked, but followed Kilee down the hall anyway.

"Where are we meeting the others?" Kilee asked once out of sight of the classroom.

"Some passage James found. It should be right…here." He stopped in front of a humped witch, pulled out his wand, tapped the statue, and said "Dissendium". It opened. They climbed in and waited. 5 minutes later, two sooty boys climbed in as well, laughing their heads off. It was Scorpius and James.

"Did you get the…whoa!" James said as he saw the giant pile of potion materials, "Why did you get all that?"

"No one told me what a moonstone looked like!" Kilee whined.

"So much for Parkinson never knowing…" Scorpius mumbled.

"Kilee," James said slowly as he looked through the pile, "I hate to break it to you, but the one thing that you didn't grab was a moonstone."

"WHAT?" Kilee yelped, "But…but…but there was nothing left!"

"You did look in her desk, right?" Scorpius asked.

Kilee blinked. "She has a desk?"

Albus put his face in his hand and said, "She told us in class yesterday that she keeps her moonstone in her desk for luck."

"I don't have potions with you!" Kilee yelled.

"Well," James muttered, "I think it's safe to say that this was a disaster."

"What are we supposed to do now?" Scorpius asked, "She will know now that someone's after her stuff."

"Well," Albus hesitated, "I do have a back up…"

"Well?" James prompted.

"It goes like this…"

The next day in Kilee's potion class, Professor Parkinson was paranoid and Kilee was slowly feeling worse and worse about the plan. However, it was soon too late to do anything, as a squeaky voice soon rang through the class, "I am the Lorax! I speak for the trees!"

"What?" snapped Professor Parkinson, "Who said that?"

Kilee could have cried as a little furry orange guy with a yellow mustache appeared in the doorway. It was oddly Albus shaped and it repeated, again, "I am the Lorax! I speak for the trees!"

"No, I think you're Mr. Potter, and you speak for the idiots," said Professor Parkinson. The 'Lorax' turned and ran. As Kilee had hoped, Professor Parkinson ran after him. When she was out of the room, Kilee leapt out of her seat and ran into Professor Parkinson's office. She ran to the desk and almost immediately found the moonstone. She stuffed it into her pocket and made a fake retching sound. When she came back, her classmates looked at her sympathetically.

"Feeling sick again, Kilee?" Sharon Corner asked, sadly. Kilee nodded miserably, feeling like she could do the conga she was so happy.

Ten minutes later, Professor Parkinson returned to the class looking very pleased with herself.

"_Poor Albus,"_ Kilee thought as she pulled out her potions book. The rest of the day passed uneventfully, Kilee learning that the poor 'Lorax' had gotten 4 weeks of detentions, Then, later that night, Kilee was smuggled into the Gryffindor common room and they began the next step.

"What does the journal say to do next, James?" Albus asked.

"Erm… well its exact wording is 'Put the neato rock thingy on the not at all worth it part broken by wrath of Evens mirror, say the magic words _Animagus Revelo_ and stare'"

"That means…" Albus prompted.

"I think we just have to do what it says," said Kilee. She put the moonstone on the mirror, said "Animagus Revelo!" and stared at the moonstone. "How long do I have to stare before something happens?" she asked.

"Uh," James skimmed the page, "Actually, it doesn't s—"

"Eep!" Kilee squeaked, her eyes going wide.

"What is it?" Scorpius asked excitedly.

"It's me! Except one minute I'm a rabbit and the next I'm human!" Kilee explained in a low voice, very happy as she stared at the mirror.

"It must show you what animal you become," Albus reasoned.

Kilee beamed, "I'm a bunny! I like bunnies!"

"Can I try?" Scorpius asked.

"Sure," Kilee scooted over and Scorpius looked.

"I'm…a dog?" Scorpius said.

"You sound disappointed," Albus said.

"I wanted to be a squirrel," Scorpius sighed as he handed the mirror to Albus.

Albus looked in, then groaned, "I'm a hummingbird!"

Kilee laughed, "Aww! You're a cute birdie too!" she said looking over his shoulder.

"Shut up," Albus mumbled.

"Why? Don't you wanna be a bird?" James said with a smirk.

"Why me?" Albus groaned.

"You know," James grinned, "We're gonna look really funny: a rabbit, a dog, a hummingbird, and a werewolf. What a sight!"

"Now Al will be a really good lookout!" laughed Kilee.

"This is so not fair," Albus sighed, burying his head in his hands.

"Look on the bright side," James said, "Now if Madam Hooch ever looses the snitch, they can use you!" Scorpius and Kilee roared with laughter while Albus desperately tried to come up with a good comeback. He failed.

"Al," Kilee finally said after a lot more teasing, "It's not so bad. I mean, hey! I'm a rabbit, Scorpius isn't a squirrel and James turns into half a monster every month."

"Isn't he always a monster?" Albus said, congratulating himself on his very late comeback.

"Whatever you say, bird-boy," James rolled his eyes.

"What do we do next?" Kilee asked, breaking up the fight.

"Uh…" Scorpius stole the book from James, "It says: 'What's the password?'"

"We have to find a password?" Kilee said in despair.

"That's what it says," Scorpius sighed.

"This doesn't mean another study session, does it?" Albus asked, completely alarmed.

Kilee just gave the three Gryffindors a grim smile as she made to leave the common room. "Saturday. 8 o'clock AM. Be there" Then she flounced away.


End file.
